Fear of losing playfulness....

This is a legit fear for me::: What if I get too old and stop playing?  I can't even imagine a world where I am not laughing or skipping or being goofy in some way.  People look at me like I'm a complete wacko, and the thing is? I'm okay with that.  I know then that I am having a bit more fun than the person looking at me with that cockeyed expression.

Currently one of the funnest times that I have is when I get off the subway -- in those big exit doors.  I arrive at City Hall station and am simply dreading having to walk down the platform to the never ending green stairwell.  Walking up a bunch of stairs after a long day is just not my thing, especially with a backpack carrying the equivalence of a corpse hoisted on my back.  My saving grace, however, is when I near the top of the stairs.  The feeling of dread seems to evaporate at an exponential rate as my mind registers the joy ahead.  And then it's in sight dead ahead - the beauty of the turnstile exit gates with their glimmering silver tinkling at me.  My pace quickens and I'm swelled with euphoria at the event that's about to take place.  I reach out my right hand to have the soft flesh make contact with the cool, smooth metal surface of the bar.  My right foot automatically finds its place on the first rung of the strong metal.  My left hand settles into its grip next to my right.  Then there's the push off.  I push off the concrete with my left foot and I'm sailing on a cloud of pure bliss.  The wind sweeps my hair and caresses my face, and I just want to say "weee!" to make it all that more enjoyable.  (Sometimes I actually do.)  I reach the other side and am completely satisfied.  Maybe not any less tired than I had been before my subway ride but refreshed in a psychological way that propels me forward on my walk home.

This is where my concern comes in::: When you're 27, you don't do things like this.  What's worse is that you don't WANT to.  I don't want to lose what makes me me - the laughter and the simple fun that I have.  The things that I do last all of but a single moment, but I enjoy to the absolute fullest and beyond that to the point of ridiculosity.  I don't want to be old and miserable and not even WANT to have fun with simple things.

I will definitely try to retain this characteristic of myself, but I'm fighting something whose weapons may be more deadly than I have defenses for: time.